The Adoptive Narc as I shall call her, was a monster. I don’t know how the system did not see it coming but then again Narcissists are wolves in sheep’s clothing; so that’s probably why. We all know how many faces a Narcissistic Person has, I call this fifty shades of Narc. I know this sounds ironic that I would mention this but truth be told narcs have 50 shade to them. Regardless if we see it or not.
As I have said before however, my ex narc/ Adoptive Narc was a narc. She was horrible towards me and one of my younger brother. Most of my memories still play in my mind like a movie. She lied to me so much, that I began to see that others were “lying to me.” I lost all faith in humanity. One of the lies she has told others around me or my old school was, apparently “I asked a teacher to have sex with me” at my grade school. I was only 11 when apparently this went down. I was still to young to know what sex was at that time. I actually piped up and said “I did not even say or do that and I was too young to know what that was.” This was when I was about 16 years old. She will deny everything I say here and the book coming December 1st but, I know the truth about her.
She actually lied to me about my birth parents too, three times. Once when I was ten and she told me that I was “unwanted”, the second was after I miscarried my child, and she then said “my bio mom was a drunk,” and number three was June 5th/2013 she said through FACS paper work “my mother had left me in a motel room for dead.” I know my truth now because, I am in contact or sorry living with the only truthful person I trust. That’s my bio father.
I felt betrayed that someone would go to great lengths to hide the truth from someone they supposedly loved, or from other people. I’ve never lied to a single person about another person, and I know that I am not innocent, and I have my faults. Sure, I am not proud of some stuff I did to her, and maybe my life right now is giving me my Karma.
Your challenge for today is to come up with situations you have been in, that you are not proud of. In your journal I want you to answer the following questions only for one of those sistuations:
- What behaviours did I show here? How did it effect me? What makes me not proud of this situations? How can I improve from this situation?
- How can I forgive myself for what I did in this situation? How can I use this to improve for the next time? Why is it important for me to let go of this negative situation?
- Reflection: Write about what you would do differently in this situation remember the 5 w’s and 1 H
I will do mine in the next journal entry!
Dee
Deejaegh Beck 