I’ve always been one to question myself and others. I have always asked myself, could I be a Narcissist? Or is it just me or does other people get constantly targeted by someone who is Narcissistic? Why me? How did this happen to me? Am I that gullible or naive? The truth is why you have been targeted for so long, you begin to wonder why it all happened in the first place. I know this is not apart of who I am, and sometimes I think that it is apart of me but, that’s not true at all.
Narcissistic people are energy vampires. They just suck the living energy out of you, they don’t care who you are. They will use you and abuse you until something or someone else comes along. These people when they have children with the victim, they use the children against the other parent they are victimizing. Throughout the years, and throughout many friends who are still in my life, and those I have acquired along the path. I have learned that it’s ok to be who I am but, it’s not ok to play the victim for most of your life. Yes, these things happened to me but, I had to start picking myself off the floor and do something about it.
Four years ago I started to begin to heal. Do you know how? I completely lost contact with the Narcissist. I was the one who cut her off and I walked away. It’s been the best time of my life since ditching the woman who never could raise me properly. She could never love anyone but herself, she manipulated me into thinking I was the Narcissist and she always pointed out my flaws. She would always point out that I got angry whenever something happened between myself and my kid brothers. She would pick on my weight and she would make me feel like I was incompetent.
It was a cycle that went on for 27 years and 6 months. Boy, did I ever waist too much time with the Narcissist and I should have cut her off sooner. I actually had little to no proof that she was doing what she was doing to me. But, In recent years I have learned some valuable lessons. One of them is, cut the person off because, toxicity will bring you down. Two being, walk the fuck away. Three, even though you walked away, doesn’t mean you should feel bad about it, you did the right thing by cutting them off.
If you are stuck in a relationship with a Narcissist here is my advice to you. It’s time to get out and reclaim yourself. If you lose people over it, then they were toxic people too and they don’t deserve you as a friend or family member. You will be loved properly when you realize that you are worth more than a toxic and potentially deadly relationship.
Deejaegh
Deejaegh Beck 